Muriel’s Wedding (1994)

directed by P.J. Hogan

Lauren Gallagher

In hindsight, six years old was probably too young to be watching P.J. Hogan’s raunchy comedy. And yet, I wouldn’t change a thing about my first viewing experience. We had swapped our high rise apartment in Sydney for a few days in Australia's Blue Mountains. The Blue Mountains are a UNESCO World Heritage site, known internationally for its vast bushland, cascading waterfalls, and panoramic views. I do not remember any of this. My granny always said that taking children on holiday was a waste of time and money.

Instead of breathtaking views, I remember snow. The Katoomba region of the Blue Mountains is particularly famous for its heavy snowfall and popularity with snowboarders. While I may not have been outside snowboarding or taking in the scenic cliff walks, I think my time was still well spent. What I do remember about the Blue Mountains, is sitting in a small rental cottage, on the carpeted floor, at the foot of my grandparent’s bed, eating dry Tim Tams. We had been watching reruns of House on the small provided TV. I can’t imagine that the creators of House intended it for the viewing of six year olds, either. When the reruns ended and the clock turned to 9 pm, with it came a film that none of us had heard of before. Now, almost twenty years later, I own three copies of Muriel’s Wedding on DVD.

I went through a phase of buying DVDs from charity shops, often forgetting what films I already owned, which is why I now have multiple copies of Muriel’s Wedding, Denis Villeneuve’s Prisoners, and the French-Romanian horror film Them. Even though I now know that I don’t need any more copies of Muriel’s Wedding, I think if I stumbled across another copy in a charity shop bargain bin, I would find it difficult to leave without it. It is hard to articulate exactly how or why Muriel’s Wedding was so impactful to little me, especially considering that every innuendo went over my head. Toni Collette’s performance in the film transcends language and age barriers, managing to deeply affect me through her acting alone.

In Muriel’s Wedding, the incomparable Toni Collette plays Muriel Heslop. Muriel is the daughter of Bill Heslop, a corrupt politician who delusionally believes that Muriel and the rest of her family are keeping him from reaching his full potential. Muriel’s mother struggles with depression throughout the film, floating between complete dissociation and arguing with her apathetic children. Muriel lives in the fictional suburb of Porpoise Spit, where she does not have a job and has recently dropped out of college. Her days are spent in her bedroom, daydreaming as she listens to ABBA songs and partying with her friends, although Muriel seems oblivious to the fact that her friends do not like her. At all. One night, Muriel is at a bar with her friends when they tell her that they no longer want to hang out with her, as they feel they are “on a different level” than her.

In rewatching the film as an adult, this was the scene that most resonated with me. In both primary and secondary school, I struggled to fit in with my peers. The few friendships I did have never lasted very long. It was not until I skipped a year of secondary school that I met a new friend group. Like Muriel, I was different from my friends. Both of us were overweight, socially awkward, sought comfort in pop culture, unfashionable and overcompensated for our awkwardness with over sharing and making up white lies to impress our peers. Still, I thought I had finally found my friends for life. The kind of friendship groups I watched on TV in The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Wild Child, and Monte Carlo. I thought we would go on city breaks to Amsterdam and Berlin, be each other's bridesmaids and maybe even move in together in some Dublin suburb. Or maybe London. Or maybe New York, like the characters in Gossip Girl. In my final year of school, I finally started to notice small things. Little digs. Small jokes at my expense. The odd hangout I wasn’t invited to. Eventually, a new group chat was made without me and I was watching Snapchat stories of them at parties I was not invited to. For an adult, these sound like laughable reasons for a friendship to end, but I cannot explain how devastating this was for a 17-year-old girl who already felt like an outcast.

Despite all of the friendships and relationships in my life that have come to an end, both before and after this friend group, it was the falling out with these particular friends that hurt most. That ate away at my self confidence and has created insecurities that still exist in me today. For Muriel, this was a catalyst for change, and I think it was for me, too. After her friendship breakdown, Muriel reconnects with Rhonda, who she went to school with but was never particularly close to. Quickly, Muriel moves to Sydney and in with Rhonda. Muriel cuts and dyes her hair, gets a new wardrobe, a job at a video store, finally has a positive friendship and even starts dating. Luckily for me, just a few months after it became abundantly clear that my friendships were over, I began college. For the very first time in my life, I was studying subjects I was genuinely interested in, I was allowed to express myself, I wasn’t made to feel stupid by my educators, and I met like-minded people.

It was also around this time that I reconnected with a school friend. Chloë. We were both in the previously mentioned toxic friend group, but seemingly had nothing else in common. When I found out that Chloë had called our friends bullies for how they treated me, I felt a real kinship for the first time. Chloë and I became closer than we had ever been before, even moving in together for a year. It wasn’t quite London, but it was about an hour away by train. This is a friendship that, regardless of where we are situated on the globe, or how often we get to have a video call, will remain important to me for the rest of my life.

Before we had characters like Amy Dunne, Devi Vishwakumar, and Rory Gilmore, we had Muriel Heslop. She was a liar, at times not a great friend and was obsessed with male validation. But through her time in Sydney, she came to learn what was truly important to her. She no longer sought to marry the first man that showed her interest, or to change herself to fit in with judgemental crowds. She learned the power of genuine female friendship, self love, and speaking up for what you believe in. When Muriel reluctantly returns to Porpoise Spit for her mother’s funeral, her father tells her that it is up to her now to look after the family. When Muriel tells her dad that their family has always been his responsibility, and that she is returning to Sydney, we can’t help but cheer for her.

Halfway through the film, the formerly carefree and vibrant Rhonda is diagnosed with a spinal tumour. This devastates both Rhonda and Muriel, and in one particularly heartbreaking scene where Rhonda struggles with her physical therapy, she tearfully asks Muriel: “How can you stand this? You push me around in this chair, you cook for me, you even help me dress, I hate it!” This is the first time we see that Muriel genuinely cares for Rhonda, and that Rhonda’s friendship has helped Muriel in more ways than we could ever know. One of the standout quotes of the film comes next, with Muriel replying, “Since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one ABBA song. That’s because now my life’s as good as an ABBA song. It’s as good as ‘Dancing Queen.’”

As a protagonist, Muriel is messy, sometimes selfish, and often hard to root for. And I thank P.J. Hogan for giving us a female character that is unapologetically herself, stubborn, and willing to make mistakes and learn from them. Thank you Muriel for being the representation girls like me needed way before it was cool.

Lauren Gallagher is an Irish writer specializing in film and literary criticism. She holds a B.A. in English, Media and Cultural Studies and is the founder of Abhartach Magazine. Her writing has been featured in BUST Magazine, Apocalypse Confidential, Off Chance Magazine, Certified Forgotten, Monstrous Flesh Journal and more.